Brad-K wrote:Anything that disruptive is certainly worth leaving behind. Hang in there, You're doing great.
The Peace of God be upon You...The peace that passes all understanding.
Well actually, the disruption was from the lowering of the dosage.
I'm off the seroquel entirely now and there's... a lot of differences. Sometimes I have amazing clarity due to my level of awareness. Sometimes it's unbelievably hard to think because of all the white noise in my head from the information overdose that comes with all the awareness. It's no longer treating my depression either so dissociation is really bad. Especially during the morning. The worst of all the returned side effects though is the anxiety itches. If you don't know they're deep, deep itches that never actually go away. Just travel from one part of your body to another. If you're not careful you can find yourself scratching until you're actually creating open wounds with those, I've done it several times before in the past. Trying pretty hard just to ignore them at the moment. The bipolar itself I've been able to keep on top of relatively well though. I haven't had any really bad mania. Just really, really strong emotions that keep bubbling to the surface until I can get them under control. I'm probably controlling them a bit too much, to a point of suppression, but I'm not really in a position to give them free reign at the moment.
GOOD SIDE EFFECTS. Turns out Seroquel was acting as a HUGE appetite suppressant. Instead of only eating about one meal a day I've actually found myself requiring (body regularly reminding me too) regular food. Breakfast, lunch and tea. I SUSPECT that my lack of appetite (hence lack of eating) was part of what was giving me such a low drive, energy, and attitude along such a strong level of apathy.
I'm starting to get pieces of memory retention back again. It's still pretty bad. Instead of just black holes where there should be memories I now have scattered fragments of memories that are really hard to connect. It's honestly pretty confusing. But it should eventually get better and I'm definitely looking forward to that.
On top of ALL of that. I finally have a job. So, thanks to God!