Poems Written in Treatment

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Poems Written in Treatment

Postby CanadianMetalFan » Mon Aug 16, 2010 22:41

A selection of poems that I wrote while in treatment. Enjoy.

Melting Faces

Birds of a feather softly wither
Children’s laughter bothered, corrupt
Why do put faith in things that die?
Smiles and laughter
People and lovers
Drugs and gods
Tears that dangle on your chin
And melt in autumn’s perpetual cold
33 degrees why do we still live?
Porcelain thrones, thoughts, and sweat
Everything sacred corrupted yet mourned
Different voices snapping away,
Yet dog eared pages turn the same
No more denial these windy days
Satisfaction in numbed fingers
And perfumed water that flows through them
Daisies death, our dreams are like paper
Mouth stapled shut and eyes smote out
Dancing like a puppet on strings
To that same wretched tune
Quarters and matches and eyes that no longer sparkle
Just point, just laugh, just play the ventriloquist’s song
Drown me like a moth
Drawn to the light
Forget those faces
Negate those times
Bring the opium to your lips
This time will be different
Tomorrow there won’t be a rash

Counterfeit

Bloodshot eyes that cry in silence
Victory? Where is your sting?
Your ideals crushed to dust
Face blackened due to lack of trying
Useless and everything is contrived
Failing to love yourself
And everything you aren’t
Security in your emotionless
And the tears you cry alone
Your fingers ache
Knowing you’ll eventually fail
Fall of that cliff and smile in relief
As the poison works through you
Live for the counterfeit
That works so well, so easy
It stops the choking anxiety
The breathing starts once the shackles are tightest

In a Graveyard

Drowning here amidst these memories
All alone with people I’ll never meet,
But here they lie row on row
I once sought to be them
Only the circumstances differing
These words will be forgotten in time
Just like the bones that lie beneath
The meaningless inscriptions
Carved on hewd stone
I feel one with them
All alone like they
Cold like they
The same wind bothering
I am different, yet the same

Chameleon

Mouth your prayers
Like 3 lb. weights
Dream of that kiss
And frown all the time
Perfect love casts out fear
Perfect love does not exist
So fear cascades eternally down
Your bed is empty
Insecurity lies beneath
Instead of the unseen monster
Tickle and feel your way
To a brief ecstasy
Moan all the time and fall asleep
In sticky sheets
The same tuneless story
You’ve always tried to sing
Dreaming of your curly hair
And the colour of your lips
I can never seem to place
Sighs within, nothing without
Nothing within, sighs without
Chattering teeth that hold in smoke
Thin smiles like broken sticks
Throw in the towel
You’ve fought these extra innings
All for not, all for nothing
Close your eyes to forget the day
You can’t see it, it can’t see you

Midnight’s Cloud

Ebullience torn from your chest
The clock that makes no sound
Your only friend the screaming farce
You make no sense
Sense makes you
These eyes that see everything
And this mouth that says nothing
Pearlless whites and the clam
That makes no pearl only spits up sand
There were once dreams
Now there’s only a rush
Forgotten all the times you’ve lied
The god you glorified
The purpose you’ve lost
Taught by the news that lies
Cops that spit their drivel
You’ve forgotten your name
And the family you killed
Their buried with your values
And the sense that makes you quiver
Where is God?
Where is your purpose?
When will midnight come?

Behind Which to Hide

Thin hands the colour pink
The same as your lips
Or whatever colour your lies are today
Eyes masked and veiled
To black out the world
And the questions she asks
Devotion and a lack of pretense
Just sitting in the grass
Cutting yourself so the blood doesn’t stain
Searching for purity maybe one day
You’ll cut deep enough
Find the hope which stings so deep
Packed together like salt in
Your weeping wounds

Depression hurts and other catch phrases
Playing pretend only works a little while
Fake smiles bring out the beauty sometimes
Then the bed of lies so weakly propped
Comes crashing down beneath the strain
You choke and burn from the poison consumed
The grudges that you clutch so tight
Drink deep even to the dregs
New clothes and friends
Sunglasses and sweaters
Behind which to hide

Not to Fly

Eyes that perforate and puncture
Thoughts that warp and corrupt
Smiles empty and meaningless
Is it ok not to fly?
To grasp at hands once held
And left to clutch only grass
Sticky with dew and
Crawling with spiders
As the throes of rejection burn

Writhing with memories
Bedsheets all tangled with sweat
Counting your failures,
But running out of fingers
Choking on sobs and hot tears
Anxieties that entangle
And scratch at your eyes
As brutal and relentless as the crow
Is it ok not to fly?

Knee deep in the thorns of your mind
They always grow back to cut
And saw at your defences
Dirty little hands where have they slept?
Shaking, but not with pleasure
Rot and blood and hate
Singing these empty songs
Mouthing unheard prayers
Is it ok not to fly?


The Dreams of Millions

Spending idle hours
Trapped in misery
A failure to conceive
The sun is shining,
But fails to penetrate
The blackness deep within
Whiling away the time
Face pressed to the wall
Hiding tears that spill forth
Whats the point in all the trying?
Where does everything go?
Your hands are tired
Muscles all but rotted
The pattern is the same
Only the days differ
Trying is a tiresome red
Hopes that once burned
Now dwindle, flicker,
Fade to nothing
Once was not enough
There is no more hope within
Its scattered on the floor
Mixed with the dreams of millions


Finding Rest

A love that’s stronger
Respite that brings rest and comfort
Renew my troubled spirit
Paint a newness that glorifies You
Lessen this load that gets longer
Heal the brokenness and hurt
As this road is heavy
And often the storms smother
They choke leaving me defenceless
Send the Son to chase away the storms
Bring back the smiles and laughter
Give me a purpose on which to cling
Fulfil your promises on which I hope
Please just turn around
Wrap me in your arms
Hold me and give me rest


Change Comes From Within

Depression is calling
Eyes empty and humourless
Like a blank canvas
Silently screaming as sanity frays
Yet dying inch by painful inch
Apathy erodes and takes,
Takes what I cannot afford to lose
I’ve felt this way before,
Losing more of myself every time
Blindly searching for the cure
Even as my bones scream
And all my muscles weep

But my walls are beginning to fall,
The light is shining through the cracks
Into this dusty, grey shack
And I’m being transformed into a palace
Depression and darkness is over
As trust in God increases
You’ve put the light back in my eyes
Put yourself in the void
That I foolishly tried to fill
Turn me into a man of God
Someone that glorifies and honours You
I’m done doing it alone walk this path with me
"...we have a practical, historical and biblical mandate to fervently disobey any unconstitutional laws and all government officials who cease to be good ministers of Jesus Christ. God almighty is the only power that deserves unlimited obedience."
CanadianMetalFan
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Posts: 1168
Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 5:36
Location: Victoria, B.C., Canada

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